Hey Ya'll!! How's it hangin?? Snoop here. Most (or all) of you have no idea who the hell I am, but I can assure you that you know someone like me...a friend, family member, or it could even be you. My life was turned upside down and inside out the day my human brought home an "addition" to our family. This snot-nosed, skinny, wimpy, smelly, dirty, eye-booger toting, bad breath havin', bug eatin' feline version of a hillbilly by the name of Amos. Why did my human do this to me? Life was good before HE came along. My evenings of lazing on the couch, purring and watching Animal Planet, having my delicious dinner served to me on a silver platter and snuggling under the covers to catch a good nights sleep turned into evenings of getting pounced on and my hair torn out, fighting for a smidgen of the now DRY cat food (since Amos had gastro-intestinal problems and couldn't eat a bite of canned food without getting a major case of the trots), and literally being physically pushed out of my own ass groove that had taken me over a year to perfect on the couch. It was buggin''!!
I will get my revenge. Don't get me wrong. It won't be physical. How could it be? I don't have any freakin' claws. Nay. My revenge will be fully psychological. My human will PAY for bringing that skinny, retarded waste into my otherwise perfect life.
No comments:
Post a Comment