Howdy Y'all.

Well, folks. Ya'll thought I was gone fer good, dincha? And you thought wrong! You're good friend, Amos, is back and he is in the SPOTLIGHT!! As you may have learned from Miss Priss, Snoop, we have had a very jampacked few years. My humans have had some trama, and they've had good times, and bad times, and things have been learnt in the process. I have had to be suport for my humans. They needed me. But now things have simmered down, and I can get back into letting ya'll know what's going on with your good frend, Amos, as I know you have all been wundering. I've had lots of time to think these last few years. As you kan see from the piture above (in one of my kontemplatave states) my mind has been opened and I like to think the things I've lerned will make me a better feeline. I sertainly hope that you will be interested in what I have to say in the futcher. So keep on cheking in and get updates on your good friend, Amos...and to a lessr degree...Prissy Snoop. Love to all my homies!

I'm BAAAAACK!!!

Hello DAHLINGS! I know it's been a while since I've talked at all my lovely fans. I sincerely apologize for that. There have been many things that have happened in the past few years and I have learned, and I have grown. And I've started to see things much differently. At one time, I looked at things as just how they were. In black and white, per se. Or rightside up and upside down. But now...I see things differently. My mind has been opened. And it feels good, my dears. Because it is OK to have a head for feet, and feet for a head. Because we are all equal and we are all loved. So hugs and kisses and I will certainly be keeping you up to speed on what's going on in your favorite girl, Snoop's, life. Hugs and kisses!!

Don't Be Hatin...

You probably think it is so funny and cute to lay me, Snoop, on her back and make her mad. "Maybe she'll flatten her ears and hiss and have a tantrum. Oh what glee!" Well, peeps, I don't find it funny or fun. Not fun or funny. If it wasn't for the fact that you fed me every day, I'd probably claw your eyes out. I'm just sayin....

I'm a Ghost...BOOOOOO!!!!

Do not stare too long. I am scary and eary. As I will invade your mynd and kast my spells on you. Gosts cast spells in my world. I will make scary noises at nite and throw things at your walls if you do not give me the delishus treats that I love so much. It is no use ignoring me. Keep my catnip toyz filled with fresh nip. Keep my fude bowl filled at all times. Only then will I maybe NOT caus a rukus. Look at those dum girls behind me. Laffing and having fun. Little do they no that I am going to turn into devel kat and scare the bejezus out of them. In a minute, tho. Right now, I think I'll just relaxks for a few more minutes. Then BOOOOO!!! It's time for a-scarin!

Theesh Drinkshh Makessh Me Feel Funny....

Hey ya'll!! Whashaaaauuppp!! Heresh I am. Polishing off yet another of this delishus drink Coors Light. Life ish boootiful. I love everyone! Even Sh-sh-sn-Snoop. I love you, man. What does it mean when you're head starts to hurt and things get blurry??

I May Have A Very Delicious Addiction...

Hi Peeps!! What is this that is so beaootiful. Look at the pretty yellow color. And the taste is just...I can't say in my own words...so I'll use one of those big words that Snoop uses to make herself seem more smarter than she is...MAGNIFEEK. So refreshing and delishus. And, boy, does this drink make me happy. How do you explain THAT?? A drink that makes you happy? I want to drink this all the time. 24/7. I'm going to offer this to all of my friends..to make THEM happy. I ain't got no idea why everyone on the face of the earth wouldn't drink this most awesome thing that I have discovered.

I'm a "Mews"

What's up all my buds?! I know I ain't been around for a spell. Like Angus Yung of AcDc, I am back and I am black!! So anyways, I wanted to show ya'll my human's latest masterpeace. It is entitled "Amos...The Cat, the Mith, the Lejend." Don't be jelous. Even though this painting will one day command millions of dollars (a'la Van Go), I will, as always, remain humble. See how my human has caught the brilliant redness of my eyes after a long night of many Coors Lights. How did we get the most perfekt shade of red? It is between me and the arteeests. (I cannot mix colors, as I have no opposable thums...but onward.) I now view myself as a cat of the world. Sofisticated, expeerienced. From now on I will be using these big words, ya'll.

Deeep Thoughts

Is this what it's all about? Life, I mean. Waking up, eating, napping, eating, playing, eating, cat nipping, annoying my human? Should I aspire to be better? I COULD be an actress, you know. I COULD be an award-winning mouser. But when all is said and done, does that make you a better individual? We all end up in the same place. Everyone's train ends up in the exact same station, am I right? Shouldn't life be enjoyed before you're worm food? I'm just asking. I love my life. It couldn't get any better. Or could it??? Should I make more of an effort? Man...I GOTTA ease up on the 'nip.

Guest #2 - Onyx

Well, golly gee, hello. I'm a little embarrassed. I'm not much of a talker. My name is Onyx. I like the color purple and Friskie's Chicken A'La King in a can. I like laying in the sun and being scratched behind the ears. Let's seeee....what else. Good grief. I don't like talking about myself. That's Kenny D's job. Oh, I should also mention that Kenny D is my roommate. He is the one who demands all the attention. Good grief. It's nice to meet all of you. I like people...sometimes.

Our Very First Guest - 'DA GOURD!

Well, hi there, everyone! I know what you're thinking. Who IS that?? Well, I will put your minds at ease and tell you - I am Snoop and Amos' VERY FIRST GUEST BLOGGER. (I'll hold for a second until the applause dies down.) * * * * It is me. The one and only KENNY D! Also known as Great White. Aka 'Da Gourd. Show me love! Let me tell you a little about myself. I am a local cat. Am a big fan of being held and snuggled. Shed like a MUTHA. That's all you NEED to know. Look at me. Have you ever seen a more beautiful specimen of feline beauty? I don't think so. I'm not being cocky or arrogant..just being truthful. Look at me!! I don't have to be intelligent. I'm gorgeous. That's all you need in this world to get ahead in life.

Gettin' our 'Nip On!

In an unprecendented move, Amos and I are going to blog together on this one. Why? (A) Because for the New Years, I have made a resolution to be nicer to the stupid oaf. It'll be hard, but I am going to try my best ya'll; and (B) because me and Amos have imbibed together on some hardcore cat nip. The best. You can't find this stuff just anywhere. My human calls her friend, who in turn calls his cousin, who in turn calls his buddy's mom who works at Petco. That is the only way to get the GOOD STUFF. Have someone on the "inside." Amos?

Hey ffffolks. Whoooo - hooooo! Can life get an better 'n this? FFNN everyone!! Friends, food, 'nip, nap. Heehee. Snoop, I love you man. I seriously love you. No matter how much we fight 'n hiss at each other, I just needs you to know, my friend. Seriously, it's from the heart, man.

Santa Claws!

Howdy Neighbors and Friends. It's me - Snoop. Well...it's been a while since we last talked. The holidays have come and gone. Santa was good to me. I got a book about Bast, the mythical cat who was a protector goddess of the moon and a fierce lioness. So much like me. My human reads me a page every night before bed. I also got a wacky booda ball. Hours of entertainment are at my disposal. All in all, the holidays were very good to your old pal, Snoop.

Bugs Ain't as Delishus as they Look..

I ain't got any idea why I thought bugs would taste so good. They taste terrible, ya'll. Every single one of 'em. The lady bug, who I thought would have tasted like a sweet, crunchy M&M tasted bitter and disgusting. The big fat spider who's filling I thought would taste like a delishus Cadbury Creme Egg tasted nastay. Beetles? Well...let's just say they taste like pond scum. I licked many a scummy pond back in my days as a homeless orphan before my human rescued me so I's know what pond scum taste like. Worms? Don't think theyz taste like those gummi worms that are so sweet and yummy. More like a rubber band dipped in mud. Take me back inside, Mom. My fude is a'waitin' for me...

I'm a Cougar!!

Lookey here, youze. I am a cougar ready to pounce. I'm a' looking for a wild gazell to kill and eat as my pray. Have you seen any around? No one can see me. I'm hidin' in this here tall grass and I'm going to git the next animal that crosses my trail. I'm gonna attak, folks. Shhhh...here comes somethin' or someone. *RROOAARR** Oh, oops, sorry about that Kato. Kato is the tiger cat dude that lives in the garage of the house next door who's always up in my bidness. Sittin' outside my window and taunting me. I shoulda whapped him in the nose with my big cougar paw!

I Peed On My Human...

Well, ya'll...today I is very embarrassed. My human mom thought it a was good idea to take me out yonder into the world. I ain't got any idea what was goin on in that head of hers. Firstly, we walk outside and I see these big metal monsters of many colors. Runnin' back and forth, up and down the street. Big ones, little ones, loud ones, quiet ones. They make whooshing noizes with their round, rubber legs. I could see INSIDE these monsters and the humans that they ATE in thar stomaks. It's like the monsters have these see-through parts on thar sides. And they make crazy noises. "Honk, honk" they would go. What does that mean?? Then I look up and see these crazy tall, brown ogre-looking monsters with thousands of arms and green hair. Why are they so tall?? Are they going to reach down and grab me with one of their many arms?? I was sooo scared, ya'll. I was shivering and trembling like a little beatch. I didn't want to die. I'm too young!! I have too much to live for!! So my mom picked me up and I let my bladder do it's thang. Peed right down the front of her. But I's had a good xcuse, right?? I was frightened!!

Feeling Slightly Under the Weather...

Hi Peeps and Friends. Wow..did I just have a major CATastrophe (get it??). Mom filled our food dish and I had to rush in there and gobble it down before that pig Amos pushed me out of the way. How many nights I've had to go hungry because he gulps the entire contents of the food bowl before I've had my share. Well, I wasn't letting it happen tonight. Big mistake. I just projectile vomited all over the hallway wall. I ate way too much Kit -n- Kaboodle. Remember when Old George Bush vomited all over the Japanese Prime Minister so many years ago? That was me a minute ago..."My fellow Americans...BLLEECCCHHHH!!" HAHA. I feel better now, though. I've heard that when you feel nauseaus, you should always lay on your back and take deep breathes. So that's what I'm doing. Thank's for your concern, ya'll.

Who Be Knockin??

Who's knockin' on my door? Announce youself. I see standin there. Youse legs outside my mail slot. I ain't openin' the door for just any old Joe Schmoe. What you want? Are you lookin' for money? I ain't got no pot to pee in. So take off. Are you sellin' sweepers? Go away. I'm scared of those thangs. You Jehoovah witness? Don't waste yer time. My perfekt soul don't need no savin. **HISSSSS*** Take a hike, you. Wait...what?? You ain't kiddin? You'se from them there Publishers Cleering Howse and I've just won a million dollars?? Well, why didn't youse tell me? Come on in? Well, I'll be a monkey's unkle. Now I'll finally be able to get that solid gold litterbox I've had my eye on!!

What Choo Lookin' At??

Haven't ya'll ever seen an oversized foot? I can't help that I was borned deefektive. But I's still almost as normal as the next dude. I just got one foot bigger'n the other. Don't stare. It ain't pollite. Don't call me Sassyquatch. Name collin' ain't nice. I can still do most things any other kitty cat can do. I meow for my dinner, I purr while being petted, I play with cat nip. I just ain't able to run in a straight line. So what if I can only run in circles.

Hey Dingbat!!

Hey Peeps!! Look at me! I am in Amos' precious box. Ooohhh...what's gonna happen now. Is he going to start fisticuffs with me? Is he going to throw me into the dungeon of his "kastle" I'm so scared. I'm shaking in my boots. Uh-oh..looky here. I seem to have stumbled into the rumpus room of the box. Here..let me see what he's got stocked in his bar. Pabst Blue Ribbon? Old Granddad? Ripple??!? Methinks I would rather drink window cleaner. At least he's got a bottle of white zinfandel. For the ladies, no? What a loser!!

Lookit..my Box

Hey Gang! What's up and down and all around?? Now...ya'll may know by now that I aint too hard to please. Gimme a bag...gimme some Nips....and I'm a happy dude. Like today. My human came home and had something wonderfool with her. A box. I mean...who woodn't love a box. It's my own personal kastle. And I'm the head dude of this box. I ain't allowing Snoop in here, no way, no how. She can find her own box. All must bow down to me..King Amos. King of this here box.